Thanksgiving Tape 3 - Client M2J.5S0R3

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I don’t know what next year holds for us. I’m going to be super optimistic and keep the “us” part of that equation. But, I mean, one can never be too sure. 

I mean, I do love her. And there’s been a lot of trials and tribulations in the short time we’ve been together. Actually, it hasn’t been all that short. This is just the first time we shared this holiday. Last year, she spent it with her family. And I wasn’t ready to make myself known just yet.

And look, I recognize that I should not necessarily have been so reluctant. Her family had been completely accepting of her and of me--in so far as I am a part of her life--which, hey is the best I could hoped for, given things about me. But even on their front, their culture has room for the unexplained. 

As of right now, we’re on a journey together. We don’t quite know where it will take us and what forms it will take But it’s a new normal we have to adjust to. With all the highs and lows therein. And I know that quite well. It’s familiar. Even if this is a happier occasion or reason. 

We did poke around a bit on the sale side of things. The Black Friday that is no longer just on Friday, but my girlfriend is constantly badgering me to get actual kitchen appliances instead of doing everything by hand. Also, aren’t there--like--countertop dishwashers or something like that, something that will make her life easier. Because I am interested in that.

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Okay, so some time has passed. And the wound isn’t as raw as it could have been had I made this tape for you yesterday. So now that we can have something like a proper conversation about this, the dinner did not go as poorly as you think it did. Okay, relatively speaking, it was not that bad. 

If you poke around on the internet, you’ll find a bunch of images of burnt turkeys. Some more than just a little burnt. Okay, there’s a lot of potential when it comes to messing up a Thanksgiving turkey. And at least burning it means you aren’t going to get someone sick. Because no one will eat it.

Okay, okay, that was overstepping. I get it. You aren’t ready to joke about it just yet. In hindsight that was actually pretty obvious. You put a lot of pressure on yourself to make this a good Thanksgiving. Not only because it was the first one you would spend together, but it is the first one she would spend without… without everyone else. And parts of it were always going to be hard, yes, but there were parts you thought you could make easier. Like by having a proper feast.

You know, I was quite literally doing the same thing, but it’s easier for someone who has a lot of experience cooking this particularly type of food. On the other, you’ve spent your whole life making some very different things. Delicious but different.

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And it was pretty smart of you to revert to that skill set in this pinch you found yourself in. She does love your cooking after all. And the food that you make when you do it. Without you, she lives off of take-over and meal kits. And hey, meal kits are pretty cool things, but it’s not the same thing that you offer her. 

I do much the same thing for my girlfriend. She doesn’t like cooking. She wouldn’t do it if she didn’t absolutely have to, but I love it, so the division of labor is what it is. And she always smiles when I serve her a plate that definitely isn’t arranged professionally but is absolutely delicious. When it comes, I have the belief that appearance doesn’t matter when it’s not going to be on the plate that long.

Semantics aside, it didn’t seem like that much of a gift to me, when I looked at it from my perspective, anyway, because I do love cooking. And--this is going to sound kind unexpected--but I have been looking into making a cookbook. I know it’s probably not the best use of my time for a few different reasons, but that’s a project I enjoy. 

It does mean that--well--I have to cook anyway. I have to practice to perfect these recipes. And she needs to eat. So it worked out. It worked out in a way that didn’t seem like a gift. Just a matter of convenience.

But then I see the moments between the two of you. In the dreams, I see the joy shared around your cooking, and I realize that there is something in this gesture. That she feels something. And that’s what matters. And that--maybe--it isn’t as inevitable as it could have been.

I made a choice. It might not have felt like one because love is a force I could never resist. But there is an element of love that is a willingness to endure, to face difficulties and trials, and to remain devoted to this love above all potential ones. 

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That’s what it is to stay in love. Not just fall. Falling is easy. But staying in one place, despite all that works against you--like the losses that might come with a first step. Or cooking when you are exhausted and somewhat overwhelmed because that did not look like a small fire, did it? There was way too much smoke for that. 

But the point is that you could have given up right then. You didn’t. You wanted to do something to make the day special. And you did.

So what if it isn’t a scene from television or from a card or book. Those are the illustrations for other people’s stories. I have learned that there’s a bunch of them. That each of us have our own tale. And that the details--the things that makes them so beautiful--are ours and ours alone to make sense of.

Your meal might have been unconventional on this side of the plant but it brought her joy. Her and her alone. What does anyone else matter? They weren’t inclined to think about her, were they? I can answer that; they weren’t, but you are. So you would be a better judge, would you not?

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Come to think of it, we did buy some books today, but we always buy books, though. We just don’t have to feel so bad or irresponsible about spending all that money today. Because it isn’t as much as it could have been.

And this will probably be a tradition for us or something more than that. It’s a bit unconventional or unexpected, but it brings us joy. A shared joy. So it’s better than all those other things. And I am happy to know that we’ll be keeping this part.

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This has been part 3 of the Oracle of Dusk Thanksgiving special. A small token of appreciation for all of you listeners.